Srila Prabhupada wrote in one letter: "The point is to be engaged in doing something for Krishna, never mind what is that job, but being so engaged in doing something very much satisfying to the devotee that he remains always enthusiastic."
This is one of the great secrets of success, at least while we are still conditioned by the modes of material nature. Find out what you really like doing, what you have a natural talent for, and then to throw your whole heart into doing that very, very well. Many successful devotees have found a field where their natural strengths and abilities are exactly what is required to do the service and achieve the desired results.
You can also find a field in which you can do be totally absorbed. A service or area of endeavor that completely fascinates you, that holds your attention, that is a natural expression of your unique talents and abilities. When you are doing what you love to do, you can have a continuous flow of excitement, energy, and ideas to do it better and better.
Here are two questions for you. Number one, if you got a million dollars, tax-free, tomorrow, would you continue to do what you are currently doing? Number two, would you stay in your current service? These questions simply ask you what you would do differently if you had all the time and money you needed and you were free to choose your service or occupation.
Successful devotees, if they got a million dollars in cash, would continue doing what they are doing. They would perhaps do it differently or better or somewhere else. But they love their service so much that they wouldn't even think of leaving it or retiring.
One of the great responsibilities of your life, when you are surrounded by so many different choices of service, occupation and activity, is for you to find out what it is that you really love doing for Krsna and then to dedicate yourself to that field. And no one else can choose it for you.
Translate
Tuesday, October 30, 2007
PERSONAL SUCCESS MAGAZINE ARTICLE
Check out "I Am A Hare Krishna Coach" article on pages 14 and 15:
http://www.theacademyclub.com/downloads/200710.pdf
http://www.theacademyclub.com/downloads/200710.pdf
Tuesday, October 23, 2007
COACHING
Coaching is about the client achieving the results they desire and learning and developing through the process.
Friday, October 19, 2007
Dedicate Yourself To Lifelong Learning
You have more brains, more ability, and more intelligence than you are using at the moment. You are far smarter than you can imagine. If you intelligently apply your mind to your situation, you can overcome obstacles, solve problems, and achieve goals.
Your mind is like a muscle, it only develops with use. Just as you have to strain your physical muscles to build them, you have to work your mental muscles to build your mind as well. The good news is that the more you learn, the more you can learn. Just like the more you play a sport, the better you get at the sport. The more you dedicate yourself to lifelong learning, the easier and faster it is for you to learn even more.
Leaders are learners. Continuous learning is the key to success. Lifelong learning is the minimum requirement for success in your field, or in any field. Make a decision today that you are going to become a student of your service and that you are going to continue learning and becoming better in that field for the rest of your life.
There are several keys to lifelong learning.
The first key is that you get up and you read in your field for 30 to 60 minutes each day. Reading is to the mind as exercise is to the body. When you read for an hour each day, this will translate into about one book per week. One book per week will translate into about fifty books per year. Fifty books per year will translate into 500 books over the next ten years.
Since the average adult reads less than one book per year, when you begin reading one hour per day, this alone will give you an incredible edge in your field. You will become one of the smartest and most competent devotees in your service by simply reading one hour each day.
The second key to lifelong learning is to listen to audio programs and lectures, especially in your car as you drive from place to place. The average person sits in his or her car 500 to 1000 hours per year. This is the equivalent of twelve to twenty-four 40 hour weeks, or as much as three to six months of working time. This is the equivalent to one to two full time semesters at university. Turn your car or a bus or a train into a learning machine. Turn it into a university on wheels. Never let your car motor be running without an educational audio program playing. Many people have become successful through the miracle of audio learning. This is why audio learning is often called the greatest breakthrough in education since the invention of the printing press.
A third key to lifelong learning is for you to take every course and seminar you can possibly find that can help you to be better in your life and service.
The combination of books, audio programs, and seminars will enable you to save hundreds of hours and thousands of dollars and many years of hard work in achieving the same level of success. Many people have actually become successful as the result of a single book, a single audio program, or a single seminar.
Make a decision today to become a lifelong learner. You will be amazed at the effect it has on your devotional life and service.
Your mind is like a muscle, it only develops with use. Just as you have to strain your physical muscles to build them, you have to work your mental muscles to build your mind as well. The good news is that the more you learn, the more you can learn. Just like the more you play a sport, the better you get at the sport. The more you dedicate yourself to lifelong learning, the easier and faster it is for you to learn even more.
Leaders are learners. Continuous learning is the key to success. Lifelong learning is the minimum requirement for success in your field, or in any field. Make a decision today that you are going to become a student of your service and that you are going to continue learning and becoming better in that field for the rest of your life.
There are several keys to lifelong learning.
The first key is that you get up and you read in your field for 30 to 60 minutes each day. Reading is to the mind as exercise is to the body. When you read for an hour each day, this will translate into about one book per week. One book per week will translate into about fifty books per year. Fifty books per year will translate into 500 books over the next ten years.
Since the average adult reads less than one book per year, when you begin reading one hour per day, this alone will give you an incredible edge in your field. You will become one of the smartest and most competent devotees in your service by simply reading one hour each day.
The second key to lifelong learning is to listen to audio programs and lectures, especially in your car as you drive from place to place. The average person sits in his or her car 500 to 1000 hours per year. This is the equivalent of twelve to twenty-four 40 hour weeks, or as much as three to six months of working time. This is the equivalent to one to two full time semesters at university. Turn your car or a bus or a train into a learning machine. Turn it into a university on wheels. Never let your car motor be running without an educational audio program playing. Many people have become successful through the miracle of audio learning. This is why audio learning is often called the greatest breakthrough in education since the invention of the printing press.
A third key to lifelong learning is for you to take every course and seminar you can possibly find that can help you to be better in your life and service.
The combination of books, audio programs, and seminars will enable you to save hundreds of hours and thousands of dollars and many years of hard work in achieving the same level of success. Many people have actually become successful as the result of a single book, a single audio program, or a single seminar.
Make a decision today to become a lifelong learner. You will be amazed at the effect it has on your devotional life and service.
JUDGING
When you are humble and respectful, you will refrain from judging other people. You will realize that the way you see the world is not how the world is, but how you are. How you see others is more of reflection of you than them.
The Power of Giving
The Power of Giving
DEEP RESPECT
One way to show deep respect is to listen attentively. When you listen actively, you understand the person talking to you much better and so are able to communicate better. This lets another person feels validated, understood, and perhaps even loved.
The Power of Giving, page 115
The Power of Giving, page 115
GIVING
Read this recently:
Giving possesions is good.
However, giving of yourself has more impact.
When you give possesions, the gifts may be temporary and short-lived.
When you give of yourself to others, the benefits they reap are sustained.
Giving possesions is good.
However, giving of yourself has more impact.
When you give possesions, the gifts may be temporary and short-lived.
When you give of yourself to others, the benefits they reap are sustained.
Monday, October 15, 2007
Debt
In many wealthy Western societies, the majority of people are in debt. The number of bankruptcies is rising, and credit card debt, with exorbitant interest rates, is rapidly accumulating. People are sinking into a debt pit because they believe that possesions will fill the hurt in their soul. Meanwhile, the consequences of this debt, this "need to acquire", is more pain. Trying to stay on top of their debts, people stay in jobs they hate, or they abandon jobs and colleagues they love in search of more money.
The Power of Giving, page 58
The Power of Giving, page 58
Tuesday, October 9, 2007
Gita Coaching In The Personal Success Magazine
Read the famous Mango Story here:
www.theacademyclub.com/details-of-ps-online.asp?ID=402
Mango
Once there was a man who liked to eat mangoes. One day he decided to
get the sweetest mango available, from the very top of the tree. Mango
which is exposed to the sun the most is the sweetest. So he climbed up
to the top, where the branches were thin. He managed to pick up a few
sweet reddish fruits, but in attempt to go back he slipped and started
falling towards the ground.
Fortunately, he cached the branch as he was falling and remained
helplessly hanging on a tree. Then he started to call nearby villagers
for help. They immediately came with a ladder and sticks, but could do
little to help him.
After some time one calm and thoughtful person arrived - a well-known
sage who lived in a simple hut nearby. People were very curious what
he will do, as he was famous in solving many people's problems in the
area, sometimes very complicated ones. He was silent for a minute and
then picked up a stone and - hit it at the hanging man.
Everybody was surprised. Hanging mango lover started shouting: "What
are you doing?! Are you crazy? Do you want me to break my neck?"
Sage was silent. Then again, he took the stone and hit it at the man
on a tree. Man was furious: "If I could just come down, I would show
you... !"
That's what everybody wanted. That he comes down. But how?
Now everybody was tense, what will happen next. Some wanted to
chastise the sage, but they didn't. Sage picked another stone and -
throw it again at the man, even more forcefully. Now the man at the
tree completely flipped out and developed a great determination to
come down and revenge. He then used all his skill and strength and
somehow reached the branches which were safe to start going down. And
he made it! Everybody was amazed.
"Where is the sage?!" - exclaimed the rescued man.
"Oh, he is a wise man. So he didn't wait for you to beat him,"- said villagers.
"I will really smash him completely!" "Hey, wait a minute. He is the
only one who helped you. He is the one who provoked you, who induced
you to help yourself."
Mango lover stopped for a second, thought a little and admitted: "Yes,
all your good intentions and compassion didn't help me. But he
expertly induced me to give my best and save myself. I should be
thankful and not angry."
So this is an instructive coaching story. The best coach makes us,
sometimes in strange ways, take initiative in our life and give our
best. If we want extraordinary results, we have to give our best. The
best coach makes you a leader, makes you responsible for your life.
www.theacademyclub.com/details-of-ps-online.asp?ID=402
Mango
Once there was a man who liked to eat mangoes. One day he decided to
get the sweetest mango available, from the very top of the tree. Mango
which is exposed to the sun the most is the sweetest. So he climbed up
to the top, where the branches were thin. He managed to pick up a few
sweet reddish fruits, but in attempt to go back he slipped and started
falling towards the ground.
Fortunately, he cached the branch as he was falling and remained
helplessly hanging on a tree. Then he started to call nearby villagers
for help. They immediately came with a ladder and sticks, but could do
little to help him.
After some time one calm and thoughtful person arrived - a well-known
sage who lived in a simple hut nearby. People were very curious what
he will do, as he was famous in solving many people's problems in the
area, sometimes very complicated ones. He was silent for a minute and
then picked up a stone and - hit it at the hanging man.
Everybody was surprised. Hanging mango lover started shouting: "What
are you doing?! Are you crazy? Do you want me to break my neck?"
Sage was silent. Then again, he took the stone and hit it at the man
on a tree. Man was furious: "If I could just come down, I would show
you... !"
That's what everybody wanted. That he comes down. But how?
Now everybody was tense, what will happen next. Some wanted to
chastise the sage, but they didn't. Sage picked another stone and -
throw it again at the man, even more forcefully. Now the man at the
tree completely flipped out and developed a great determination to
come down and revenge. He then used all his skill and strength and
somehow reached the branches which were safe to start going down. And
he made it! Everybody was amazed.
"Where is the sage?!" - exclaimed the rescued man.
"Oh, he is a wise man. So he didn't wait for you to beat him,"- said villagers.
"I will really smash him completely!" "Hey, wait a minute. He is the
only one who helped you. He is the one who provoked you, who induced
you to help yourself."
Mango lover stopped for a second, thought a little and admitted: "Yes,
all your good intentions and compassion didn't help me. But he
expertly induced me to give my best and save myself. I should be
thankful and not angry."
So this is an instructive coaching story. The best coach makes us,
sometimes in strange ways, take initiative in our life and give our
best. If we want extraordinary results, we have to give our best. The
best coach makes you a leader, makes you responsible for your life.
Wednesday, October 3, 2007
MUTUAL COACHING
What is Mutual Coaching?
Mutual Coaching was originally developed by my friend, executive coach Marshall Goldsmith and some of his associates, as a cost-effective way to provide quality coaching to mid-level, high-potential and emerging leaders. It is now implemented in numerous organizations and is achieving significant results in accelerating leadership development. We offer it here as a personal improvement tool for ISKCON leaders and other devotees.
Its design creates sustainability and reduces the cost of training by involving each participant as an equal partner in the process.
In Mutual Coaching, each participant acts as both the coach and the coachee (or client).
The likely result is a more collaborative spiritual relationship committed to continuously becoming more successful in devotional service.
Some of the benefits:
• Create a personal development plan
• Reduce isolation among ISKCON leaders
• Establish collaborative norms
• Build a shared knowledge base
• Enable leaders to give and receive ideas
• Share successful practices
• Transfer training to the place of service
• Encourage deep thinking
• Develop more cohesive organizational culture
• Accelerate leadership development
What Mutual Coaching is and isn’t:
• It is professional, not social dialogue
• It is observation based
• It is not an evaluation tool
• It is developmental
• It is not a competition
• It is supportive
• It is confidential
• It is based on individual growth
• It is voluntary
• It is based on trust
Mutual Coaching Roles
As Coaching Partner, each devotee plays three basic roles for the other. From the Coaching Partner’s point of view:
• I’m your thinking partner
• I’m here as objective support
• I’m here to help you be accountable
Thinking Partner:
It’s always easier to see someone more objectively than yourself. Even if I’m struggling to improve in the same areas as you, I am much more capable of identifying a solution for you than I am for myself. It is difficult to know what to do when we find ourselves in the heat of an improvement opportunity. Having someone I can turn to for direction when I’m lost in my old patterns is enormously helpful, especially when this person is someone who knows me and is someone I can trust enough to reveal my blind spots and vulnerabilities.
Objective Support:
Devotees who know me know my old patterns well because they’ve lived and worked with them over time. You as my Coaching Partner come from a fresh point of view. You can see beyond our history, and you can see many more possibilities and strategies that are way outside the box of my habitual experience.
Accountability:
I know you’re going to ask me how I’m doing with the goals I set last week. You’re the one I entrusted with my list of what I really want to accomplish, and what I’ve committed to actually do. I’m counting on you to remember to ask me.
How Do We Measure Success?
Appointed Coach or Change Coordinator is responsible for managing the coaching project for the ISKCON center. One of their primary responsibilities is to conduct individual surveys and interviews to gather initial and continuous feedback on behalf of each participant.
Each participant may also conduct his or her own interviews with the devotees he lives and serves with.
The interview process always focuses on discovering the answers to the following questions:
• What is the devotee doing well?
• How could they improve?
• What suggestions do you have for their future?
The person conducting the interview will take careful, verbatim notes of all comments and suggestions. If comments are general, the person interviewing will probe for more specific comments. The more specific, the better. The combined information from a variety of people assists each participant to create a very clear and specific development plan.
Some considerations when choosing those who give you feedback:
• Are these people in a position to give me accurate information about my behavior? They might be supervisors, peers, and those who serve under my supervision.
• Do they feel safe enough to be completely honest with me?
• Will they be fair?
• Will they take a few minutes on occasion to give me their suggestions?
How can a devotee giving feedback be most effective?
• Make a commitment to forgive and forget the past.
• Make your observations constructive, specific and behavioral.
• Be positive and supportive.
• Be honest and fair.
• Understand the devotee won’t be able to act on all of your suggestions.
• Your role is to become a helpful coach to the devotee. Set aside any impulse to be a cynic, critic or judge.
Questions are basically the same in either case:
• What is the devotee doing well?
• How could they improve?
• What suggestions do you have for their future?
The person conducting the interview will take careful, verbatim notes of all comments and suggestions.
Specific Comments
If comments offered are general, the person interviewing will probe for more specific comments. The more specific, the better. Sometimes very small ideas from a variety of people add up to a very specific picture that helps the person being coached understand much more clearly what those around them experience and would like to be different.
Behavioral Comments
This coaching process is about behavioral change. Only comments that describe specific behaviors of the devotee will be useful.
The process:
• Write down all comments verbatim.
• If someone other than the devotee is doing the interview, compile comments by topics, mixing entries so comments will be anonymous to the devotee.
• Provide a written list of everyone’s comments to the devotee.
Determining the Target Behavior
Assuming discussion with other devotees focused on ‘what can this devotee do better’ with a look to the future rather than criticizing the past, the list of suggestions may not be so difficult to take. Actually it is information worth its weight in gold if used honestly.
If a Coach or Change Coordinator is managing the overall Mutual Coaching process, they will generally meet with each participant to review the results of initial assessment, and clarify a developmental goal.
Alternatively, the two-way Coaching Partners may help each other to review the interview comments, select a developmental goal and clarify the final goal statement.
Having your Coaching Partner reviewing the suggestions with you can be valuable in many ways:
• You may have a tendency to only look for criticism. Your Coaching Partner can bring to your attention the positive comments as well.
• Your Coaching Partner may be able to see patterns more clearly because they’re not emotionally involved in the same way you are.
• Talking over the comments with your Coaching Partner can have a synergistic effect … you may both eventually see the opportunities in a new light, which can lead to an approach from a completely new dynamic.
• It’s easier to go from understanding input to creating an action plan with your Coaching Partner guiding you to the next step.
• Make your action plan clear, measurable and achievable. Set regular times to check in with your Coaching Partner.
Some participants may want to set more than one goal. Experience and research indicates that the greatest success is realized by selecting one developmental goal. Focus is important. We are all busy. There is probably one behavior that, if improved, will make a substantial difference in other areas as well.
One important caution: It’s key that the devotee choose a goal they are enthusiastic about.
Enduring change requires commitment over time. Success is much more likely if the devotee is working toward something they truly desire.
FeedForward
How excited do we get when someone tells us they want to give us some feedback?
What usually follows this type of offer? Usually something that sounds much more like criticism, blame, and analysis of what we did wrong. Not many of us find this very appealing.
If instead of focusing on feedback (looking in the past to create a list of past sins), we focus on FeedForward (making and soliciting suggestions for the future), it becomes a very constructive and productive experience. Some even call it ‘fun’!
How does this work?
• Choose something you’d like to improve
• Ask random people for their suggestions
FeedForward is a process of gaining positive suggestions from others that are pertinent to improving performance in a specified area.
Why not rely on feedback alone? Why do I need to do FeedForward?
• Many people are afraid that you will not be able to handle the feedback so they do not tell you the truth.
• People rarely feel like they are creating service security or strengthening friendships when they give feedback.
• Feedback is sometimes a negative experience and can cause hard feelings.
• It is very difficult to grow and navigate change when all you have is information about the past.
Why does FeedForward work?
• When you make it clear to devotees that you need their help in order to improve in an area of development they become willing to share their ideas and thoughts on how to get better. They finally feel like they have a stake in the process.
• FeedForward is focused on giving positive, future-oriented suggestions.
• By following up on the suggestions you receive, you demonstrate your commitment to grow and devotees you serve with will develop an increased desire to help you and to share their thoughts and ideas.
How Do I Implement the Process?
• Make it informal.
o You can ask for FeedForward suggestions in person, on the phone or via email.
o Don’t wait for scheduled meetings. Pay attention to what is being said and what you are doing and use the natural opportunities to ask devotees for help.
• Keep your conversations focused.
o The purpose of the FeedForward conversation is to answer the question, “What can I do to get better in my area of development.”
o Avoid using this time to talk about other items or concerns.
• Keep the conversation very simple.
o I am working on becoming a better listener. Can you give me a positive suggestion on how I can do this?
o What can I do to become a better listener?
o What are some positive things you have noticed that good listeners do?
How Do I Select Those Who Will Give Me Feedback?
• The best people to help you are those that are in a position to give you accurate information about your behavior? They might be supervisors, peers, and/or direct reports.
• You need to make sure that they feel safe enough to be completely honest with you?
• Will they be fair in their assessment?
• Will they take a few minutes on occasion to give you their suggestions?
How Can a Devotee Who Gives Feedback Be Most Effective?
• Make a commitment to forgive and forget the past.
• Make observations constructive, specific and behavioral.
• Be positive and supportive.
• Be honest and fair.
• Understand the devotee won’t be able to act on all suggestions.
• Devotee’s role is to become a helpful coach to another devotee, setting aside any impulse to be a cynic, critic or judge.
What are the Major Roadblocks to Doing FeedForward?
• What are the roadblocks that keep you from doing FeedForward with your stakeholders?
o It feels awkward.
o I think it needs to be a formal process.
o It is difficult to change culture; this is not reflective of the current culture.
o I am so busy already, how do I fit it all in my schedule.
o I don’t know how to give FeedForward.
o I don’t know how many devotees I need to comment.
• How can I overcome these roadblocks? What are some of the best practices used to create success?
o Don’t put too much pressure on yourself.
o Make it an informal experience. Fit it into your regular conversations.
o Create a reminder in your paper or electronic planner.
o Practice what you are going to say with your Coaching Partner.
o Cast a wide net and include as many people as you possibly can.
o Be quick – two minutes may be long enough.
Some Important Things to Remember
• Your devotee-colleagues’ recommendations are accurate reflections of how you can improve from his/her perspective.
• The responses you receive are current indicators of your behavior.
• FeedForward is a way for your stakeholders to support you in your goal and challenge you to get better.
Say Thank You
• The answer to every suggestion is “Thank you”.
o You are not thanking them for the content of their ideas.
o You are thanking them for willingly helping you.
• Avoid the temptation to grade or debate responses. Just say “Thank you”.
• You do not need to implement every suggestion.
o Discussion suggestions with you Coaching Partner.
o Ask yourself, “What would happen if I implemented this suggestion?”
Your success in getting better in your chosen area is directly correlated with the amount of follow-up you have with your stakeholders.
The fascinating part of this exercise is that you’re often asking people you don’t know at all … and amazingly enough their suggestions are pretty useful!
Another surprise … we find many other people have the same issues we have! And we can help them even if we feel lost helping ourselves!
The magic of FeedForward is that it’s a positive way to get many more ideas than one could ever actually use … and there’s no commitment to use the ideas!
The only requirement … just say “Thank you”. Don’t argue, complain, analyze … just say “Thank you” and write down the idea verbatim.
Mutual Coaching Support
Here are some tips to help you provide effective support to each other:
• It’s easy to focus on the negative. Help each other look at the good news in information gained from devotees interviewed. Give equal airtime to the good as well as the more challenging areas.
• Remind each other it’s not about the past. Reframe everything in the form of what can be done in the present and future.
• Avoid criticism, judgment, analysis, blame. Remember, this is Mutual Coaching so both of you are getting comments that aren’t easy to hear! It requires courage, honesty and humility to admit past mistakes. Look at them as clearly as you can without dwelling on them, make your sincere apologies and move on. Your only point of effectiveness is what you do with this information in the future.
• Help each other move past personalities. Don’t try to figure out who made what comments if you’ve received anonymous suggestions. Just look for the nuggets of opportunity, forgive everyone else for their side of the challenges, and look forward to how you can create a positive outcome for the future.
Daily Questions
Accountability is a key ingredient in a successful Mutual Coaching relationship. How often you check in with each other depends on your schedules and how you’ve set up your goals. The most effective method we’ve found for staying on track and making maximum progress is what we call “Daily Questions”.
Give your Coaching Partner questions that you want them to ask you every day or every week. These questions will usually cover the most important areas of your life. If you miss a day or two, simply ‘catch up’ later.
Some keys:
• Each person writes their own questions.
• No negative feedback. No comments that might produce any form of negativity.
• Yes to positive feedback! If you can make positive comments to reinforce success, by all means go ahead!
When writing your questions, you might think about different areas of your life, such as health, relationships, things you want to accomplish but don’t seem to get to.
Questions Marshall suggests for improving relationships: “Did you say or do something nice for your wife? Your son? Your daughter?” For tasks you would like to do: “How many minutes did you spend ___?”, or “How many sit-ups did you do?”
This process works well because it forces each Coaching Partner to confront how they actually live their values … every day. You find you either believe that something matters or you don’t. If you really believe it, you can ‘put it on the list’ and do it! If you really don’t want to do it, you can face reality and quit kidding yourselves.
Measure Results
An important aspect of Marshall Goldsmith’s coaching is measuring if the person being coached is actually improving. Improvement is not measured by the coach or the client, but by the people around them.
Mini-surveys are a simple and efficient way to measure behavioral change. They are very short and focus only on the leadership behavioral goal that has been selected by the person being coached. They are designed so that the colleagues evaluate behavior that occurs only during the coaching period.
They focus on the colleague’s perception of the individual's improvement - not individual’s effort.
After receiving the mini-survey results the client thanks the devotees, involves them in future change and continues the process. This is almost always a positive experience for the individual and for the other devotees. When done consistently well, the positive change is seen quickly, builds momentum, and is sustained.
Compiled by Akrura dasa, Gita Coaching
http://vedicilluminations.com/gitacoaching
http://gitacoaching.blogspot.com
Mutual Coaching was originally developed by my friend, executive coach Marshall Goldsmith and some of his associates, as a cost-effective way to provide quality coaching to mid-level, high-potential and emerging leaders. It is now implemented in numerous organizations and is achieving significant results in accelerating leadership development. We offer it here as a personal improvement tool for ISKCON leaders and other devotees.
Its design creates sustainability and reduces the cost of training by involving each participant as an equal partner in the process.
In Mutual Coaching, each participant acts as both the coach and the coachee (or client).
The likely result is a more collaborative spiritual relationship committed to continuously becoming more successful in devotional service.
Some of the benefits:
• Create a personal development plan
• Reduce isolation among ISKCON leaders
• Establish collaborative norms
• Build a shared knowledge base
• Enable leaders to give and receive ideas
• Share successful practices
• Transfer training to the place of service
• Encourage deep thinking
• Develop more cohesive organizational culture
• Accelerate leadership development
What Mutual Coaching is and isn’t:
• It is professional, not social dialogue
• It is observation based
• It is not an evaluation tool
• It is developmental
• It is not a competition
• It is supportive
• It is confidential
• It is based on individual growth
• It is voluntary
• It is based on trust
Mutual Coaching Roles
As Coaching Partner, each devotee plays three basic roles for the other. From the Coaching Partner’s point of view:
• I’m your thinking partner
• I’m here as objective support
• I’m here to help you be accountable
Thinking Partner:
It’s always easier to see someone more objectively than yourself. Even if I’m struggling to improve in the same areas as you, I am much more capable of identifying a solution for you than I am for myself. It is difficult to know what to do when we find ourselves in the heat of an improvement opportunity. Having someone I can turn to for direction when I’m lost in my old patterns is enormously helpful, especially when this person is someone who knows me and is someone I can trust enough to reveal my blind spots and vulnerabilities.
Objective Support:
Devotees who know me know my old patterns well because they’ve lived and worked with them over time. You as my Coaching Partner come from a fresh point of view. You can see beyond our history, and you can see many more possibilities and strategies that are way outside the box of my habitual experience.
Accountability:
I know you’re going to ask me how I’m doing with the goals I set last week. You’re the one I entrusted with my list of what I really want to accomplish, and what I’ve committed to actually do. I’m counting on you to remember to ask me.
How Do We Measure Success?
Appointed Coach or Change Coordinator is responsible for managing the coaching project for the ISKCON center. One of their primary responsibilities is to conduct individual surveys and interviews to gather initial and continuous feedback on behalf of each participant.
Each participant may also conduct his or her own interviews with the devotees he lives and serves with.
The interview process always focuses on discovering the answers to the following questions:
• What is the devotee doing well?
• How could they improve?
• What suggestions do you have for their future?
The person conducting the interview will take careful, verbatim notes of all comments and suggestions. If comments are general, the person interviewing will probe for more specific comments. The more specific, the better. The combined information from a variety of people assists each participant to create a very clear and specific development plan.
Some considerations when choosing those who give you feedback:
• Are these people in a position to give me accurate information about my behavior? They might be supervisors, peers, and those who serve under my supervision.
• Do they feel safe enough to be completely honest with me?
• Will they be fair?
• Will they take a few minutes on occasion to give me their suggestions?
How can a devotee giving feedback be most effective?
• Make a commitment to forgive and forget the past.
• Make your observations constructive, specific and behavioral.
• Be positive and supportive.
• Be honest and fair.
• Understand the devotee won’t be able to act on all of your suggestions.
• Your role is to become a helpful coach to the devotee. Set aside any impulse to be a cynic, critic or judge.
Questions are basically the same in either case:
• What is the devotee doing well?
• How could they improve?
• What suggestions do you have for their future?
The person conducting the interview will take careful, verbatim notes of all comments and suggestions.
Specific Comments
If comments offered are general, the person interviewing will probe for more specific comments. The more specific, the better. Sometimes very small ideas from a variety of people add up to a very specific picture that helps the person being coached understand much more clearly what those around them experience and would like to be different.
Behavioral Comments
This coaching process is about behavioral change. Only comments that describe specific behaviors of the devotee will be useful.
The process:
• Write down all comments verbatim.
• If someone other than the devotee is doing the interview, compile comments by topics, mixing entries so comments will be anonymous to the devotee.
• Provide a written list of everyone’s comments to the devotee.
Determining the Target Behavior
Assuming discussion with other devotees focused on ‘what can this devotee do better’ with a look to the future rather than criticizing the past, the list of suggestions may not be so difficult to take. Actually it is information worth its weight in gold if used honestly.
If a Coach or Change Coordinator is managing the overall Mutual Coaching process, they will generally meet with each participant to review the results of initial assessment, and clarify a developmental goal.
Alternatively, the two-way Coaching Partners may help each other to review the interview comments, select a developmental goal and clarify the final goal statement.
Having your Coaching Partner reviewing the suggestions with you can be valuable in many ways:
• You may have a tendency to only look for criticism. Your Coaching Partner can bring to your attention the positive comments as well.
• Your Coaching Partner may be able to see patterns more clearly because they’re not emotionally involved in the same way you are.
• Talking over the comments with your Coaching Partner can have a synergistic effect … you may both eventually see the opportunities in a new light, which can lead to an approach from a completely new dynamic.
• It’s easier to go from understanding input to creating an action plan with your Coaching Partner guiding you to the next step.
• Make your action plan clear, measurable and achievable. Set regular times to check in with your Coaching Partner.
Some participants may want to set more than one goal. Experience and research indicates that the greatest success is realized by selecting one developmental goal. Focus is important. We are all busy. There is probably one behavior that, if improved, will make a substantial difference in other areas as well.
One important caution: It’s key that the devotee choose a goal they are enthusiastic about.
Enduring change requires commitment over time. Success is much more likely if the devotee is working toward something they truly desire.
FeedForward
How excited do we get when someone tells us they want to give us some feedback?
What usually follows this type of offer? Usually something that sounds much more like criticism, blame, and analysis of what we did wrong. Not many of us find this very appealing.
If instead of focusing on feedback (looking in the past to create a list of past sins), we focus on FeedForward (making and soliciting suggestions for the future), it becomes a very constructive and productive experience. Some even call it ‘fun’!
How does this work?
• Choose something you’d like to improve
• Ask random people for their suggestions
FeedForward is a process of gaining positive suggestions from others that are pertinent to improving performance in a specified area.
Why not rely on feedback alone? Why do I need to do FeedForward?
• Many people are afraid that you will not be able to handle the feedback so they do not tell you the truth.
• People rarely feel like they are creating service security or strengthening friendships when they give feedback.
• Feedback is sometimes a negative experience and can cause hard feelings.
• It is very difficult to grow and navigate change when all you have is information about the past.
Why does FeedForward work?
• When you make it clear to devotees that you need their help in order to improve in an area of development they become willing to share their ideas and thoughts on how to get better. They finally feel like they have a stake in the process.
• FeedForward is focused on giving positive, future-oriented suggestions.
• By following up on the suggestions you receive, you demonstrate your commitment to grow and devotees you serve with will develop an increased desire to help you and to share their thoughts and ideas.
How Do I Implement the Process?
• Make it informal.
o You can ask for FeedForward suggestions in person, on the phone or via email.
o Don’t wait for scheduled meetings. Pay attention to what is being said and what you are doing and use the natural opportunities to ask devotees for help.
• Keep your conversations focused.
o The purpose of the FeedForward conversation is to answer the question, “What can I do to get better in my area of development.”
o Avoid using this time to talk about other items or concerns.
• Keep the conversation very simple.
o I am working on becoming a better listener. Can you give me a positive suggestion on how I can do this?
o What can I do to become a better listener?
o What are some positive things you have noticed that good listeners do?
How Do I Select Those Who Will Give Me Feedback?
• The best people to help you are those that are in a position to give you accurate information about your behavior? They might be supervisors, peers, and/or direct reports.
• You need to make sure that they feel safe enough to be completely honest with you?
• Will they be fair in their assessment?
• Will they take a few minutes on occasion to give you their suggestions?
How Can a Devotee Who Gives Feedback Be Most Effective?
• Make a commitment to forgive and forget the past.
• Make observations constructive, specific and behavioral.
• Be positive and supportive.
• Be honest and fair.
• Understand the devotee won’t be able to act on all suggestions.
• Devotee’s role is to become a helpful coach to another devotee, setting aside any impulse to be a cynic, critic or judge.
What are the Major Roadblocks to Doing FeedForward?
• What are the roadblocks that keep you from doing FeedForward with your stakeholders?
o It feels awkward.
o I think it needs to be a formal process.
o It is difficult to change culture; this is not reflective of the current culture.
o I am so busy already, how do I fit it all in my schedule.
o I don’t know how to give FeedForward.
o I don’t know how many devotees I need to comment.
• How can I overcome these roadblocks? What are some of the best practices used to create success?
o Don’t put too much pressure on yourself.
o Make it an informal experience. Fit it into your regular conversations.
o Create a reminder in your paper or electronic planner.
o Practice what you are going to say with your Coaching Partner.
o Cast a wide net and include as many people as you possibly can.
o Be quick – two minutes may be long enough.
Some Important Things to Remember
• Your devotee-colleagues’ recommendations are accurate reflections of how you can improve from his/her perspective.
• The responses you receive are current indicators of your behavior.
• FeedForward is a way for your stakeholders to support you in your goal and challenge you to get better.
Say Thank You
• The answer to every suggestion is “Thank you”.
o You are not thanking them for the content of their ideas.
o You are thanking them for willingly helping you.
• Avoid the temptation to grade or debate responses. Just say “Thank you”.
• You do not need to implement every suggestion.
o Discussion suggestions with you Coaching Partner.
o Ask yourself, “What would happen if I implemented this suggestion?”
Your success in getting better in your chosen area is directly correlated with the amount of follow-up you have with your stakeholders.
The fascinating part of this exercise is that you’re often asking people you don’t know at all … and amazingly enough their suggestions are pretty useful!
Another surprise … we find many other people have the same issues we have! And we can help them even if we feel lost helping ourselves!
The magic of FeedForward is that it’s a positive way to get many more ideas than one could ever actually use … and there’s no commitment to use the ideas!
The only requirement … just say “Thank you”. Don’t argue, complain, analyze … just say “Thank you” and write down the idea verbatim.
Mutual Coaching Support
Here are some tips to help you provide effective support to each other:
• It’s easy to focus on the negative. Help each other look at the good news in information gained from devotees interviewed. Give equal airtime to the good as well as the more challenging areas.
• Remind each other it’s not about the past. Reframe everything in the form of what can be done in the present and future.
• Avoid criticism, judgment, analysis, blame. Remember, this is Mutual Coaching so both of you are getting comments that aren’t easy to hear! It requires courage, honesty and humility to admit past mistakes. Look at them as clearly as you can without dwelling on them, make your sincere apologies and move on. Your only point of effectiveness is what you do with this information in the future.
• Help each other move past personalities. Don’t try to figure out who made what comments if you’ve received anonymous suggestions. Just look for the nuggets of opportunity, forgive everyone else for their side of the challenges, and look forward to how you can create a positive outcome for the future.
Daily Questions
Accountability is a key ingredient in a successful Mutual Coaching relationship. How often you check in with each other depends on your schedules and how you’ve set up your goals. The most effective method we’ve found for staying on track and making maximum progress is what we call “Daily Questions”.
Give your Coaching Partner questions that you want them to ask you every day or every week. These questions will usually cover the most important areas of your life. If you miss a day or two, simply ‘catch up’ later.
Some keys:
• Each person writes their own questions.
• No negative feedback. No comments that might produce any form of negativity.
• Yes to positive feedback! If you can make positive comments to reinforce success, by all means go ahead!
When writing your questions, you might think about different areas of your life, such as health, relationships, things you want to accomplish but don’t seem to get to.
Questions Marshall suggests for improving relationships: “Did you say or do something nice for your wife? Your son? Your daughter?” For tasks you would like to do: “How many minutes did you spend ___?”, or “How many sit-ups did you do?”
This process works well because it forces each Coaching Partner to confront how they actually live their values … every day. You find you either believe that something matters or you don’t. If you really believe it, you can ‘put it on the list’ and do it! If you really don’t want to do it, you can face reality and quit kidding yourselves.
Measure Results
An important aspect of Marshall Goldsmith’s coaching is measuring if the person being coached is actually improving. Improvement is not measured by the coach or the client, but by the people around them.
Mini-surveys are a simple and efficient way to measure behavioral change. They are very short and focus only on the leadership behavioral goal that has been selected by the person being coached. They are designed so that the colleagues evaluate behavior that occurs only during the coaching period.
They focus on the colleague’s perception of the individual's improvement - not individual’s effort.
After receiving the mini-survey results the client thanks the devotees, involves them in future change and continues the process. This is almost always a positive experience for the individual and for the other devotees. When done consistently well, the positive change is seen quickly, builds momentum, and is sustained.
Compiled by Akrura dasa, Gita Coaching
http://vedicilluminations.com/gitacoaching
http://gitacoaching.blogspot.com
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)